A little tree never grows in the shadow of a big tree

‘A little tree never grows in the shadow of a big tree’

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‘A little tree never grows in the shadow of a big tree’

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Heard that today from my dad as we were speaking after having a few drinks.

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He was talking about my sister and my mom.

How my mom has been on top of her, calling her multiple times a day and stressing out the rest of the family to make sure my sister is ok.

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She’s not letting go.

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I get it.

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My sister will always be a kid in her mind.

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But she has to let go.

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She has to let her little tree thrive.

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Whether she gets hit with a hurricane or thrives in the sunlight, that’s not up to my mom.

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It’s up to the little one to decide.

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This is the biggest struggle of parents.

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How do you let go?

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How can you let go of your kids making their own decisions knowing they’re going to screw up?

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It’s brutal.

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Many parents will never accept it.

They’ll never let their kids be themselves.

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They parent them from their own perspective of how they grew up.

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Newsflash - the 2020s are very different than the 90s.

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You have to let kids be kids.

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You have to let the little trees flourish, even if that means they wilt in the hurricane.

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That’s not your decision.

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You have to trust that you’ve done the best you can to raise them and then you have to release them to the world.

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Let them thrive.

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Let them leave your shadow.

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Let them be the thriving smaller trees.

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Because if you’ve done a good enough job, watered them and exposed them to enough sunlight, they could even grow higher than you.

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Isn’t that what you want?

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So let them be.

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Let them screw up and let them shine.

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Let them be themselves, no matter how good or bad it may seem to you.

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Your job is to always be there for them, without judgment, trying to guide them along the way.

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But you have to let go.

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You have to let them be.

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You have to let them grow into their own shadow.

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You have to let them get out of your own shadow.

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They’re living their life, not you.

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Let them grow higher than the shadow of your big tree.

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