The last time

The last time:

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The last time.

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The final time you say bye to someone.

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You have no idea when it will come.

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Could be tomorrow.

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Could be 60 years from now.

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You have no idea.

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But it will happen.

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We think we live for so long.

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That we have so long left on this earth.

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But the truth is we don’t.

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We’re already dead.

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Our lives are but a speck.

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But a moment in time.

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Here today.

Gone tomorrow.

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Life isn’t just about what you do.

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It’s more about how you do it.

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One of the ending lines in ‘The Farewell.’

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What a movie.

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What a story.

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What a reminder.

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A reminder about our mortality.

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And the burden that it will bring to everyone around us.

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It reminded me of my grandparents.

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My grandma in particular.

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I’ve been lucky enough to grow up with my grandparents.

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To have lived more than 3 decades on this planet and had 3 out of the 4 grandparents be alive for that time.

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Most people are not so lucky.

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For 2 of them, we grew up 2 streets away from them.

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Saw them every Friday.

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Slept over at their house for 17 years.

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Friday night was what we looked forward to all week.

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Put the Raptors game on in the family room.

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Put our mini hoop out in the hallway.

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And just play.

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Shoot hoops.

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Play games.

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Play horse.

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Around the world.

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Then 1-on-1.

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I dominated.

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Even challenged friends when they came over.

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And also the PlayStation.

We used to pack our ps3 and ps4 every time we went.

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Run NBA 2K seasons with me and my bro.

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Planted in front of the TV for hours on end.

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And Saturday mornings.

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Chocolate chip Eggo waffles.

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Every Saturday morning on repeat.

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That was how I grew up.

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That was how I was raised.

A lady who had supported 3 kids while working as a secretary with a husband who was always working.

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She grinded.

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She suffered.

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But she always believed.

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Always had faith.

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And look what my grandparents' vision became.

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Today is Diwali.

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And we spent all day at the mandir.

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All day at the place they built.

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My daddu (grandfather) and daddi (grandmother) started a temple in Scarborough in 1984.

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First got the license for the name then.

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Now 40+ years later, it’s become one of the largest temples in the GTA.

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Today my daddi organized a function.

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Paid for 900 people to get food.

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But also made a donation for an industrial dishwasher.

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One that my grandfather had promised to make to the hospital 15 years ago.

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Today was the day they opened it.

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Finally, the template had an industrial dishwasher they could use to stop the garbage they were creating.

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My daddu committed his life to this cause.

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And what a beautiful way to celebrate it.

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Almost all his kids and grandkids around him hearing the temple community talk about how committed he was.

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How when people used to visit the house, he was always in his office working on mandir work.

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Keeping the books.

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Making sure all the money was accounted for.

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Now he’s longer like that.

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He’s had dementia for several years.

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And probably doesn’t have much time left.

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So it’s hard.

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It’s really hard.

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Even with my grandma.

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Every week I see them, it’s always about organizing the next doctor’s appointment.

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This is the life they live.

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But my daddi man.

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She’s something else.

She’s a fighter.

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A warrior.

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Someone who shows up every day and keeps going.

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Reminded me a lot of Nai Nai, the grandma from the movie.

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Happy go lucky.

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Makes funny jokes.

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Plays politics.

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But loves her grandkids.

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Wants to see them get married.

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Wants to see them succeed.

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Wants to see them be happy.

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That last scene.

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When she’s on the bed saying goodbye.

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Oh man.

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I couldn’t hold it.

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I cannot imagine facing that moment.

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And yet one day I probably will.

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Where the people in your life are no longer here.

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No longer with us.

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Just a memory.

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So cherish it.

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Savour it.

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Appreciate it.

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Remember, everyone will suffer loss.

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Everyone will lose someone they love.

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Everyone will wake up one day and regret not spending more time with a person.

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Because we always thought we had more time.

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We always thought there would be another opportunity.

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But sometimes you have to remember.

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This is the last time I’ll see this person.

This is the last time I’ll be with this person.

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This is the last time.

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Thank you Farewell for reminding me.

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Never take your people for granted.

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Because you never know when it will be the last time.

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