Do I need an Indian girl?

Do I need an Indian girl?

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Do I need an Indian girl?

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A friend made me think yesterday.

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We were driving back from a dinner.

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4 guys from high school who graduated 14 years ago.

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Getting together once a quarter just to chat and try a new restaurant.

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So him and I stayed behind because there’s a great brewery a 2-minute walk from there.

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Then we drove home, and as we were driving, he said to me.

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‘I think you need an Indian girl.’

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I hadn’t heard that before.

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Hadn’t really thought hard about it before.

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Do I really need one?

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The short answer is no.

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I could be happy with anyone.

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From any religion or any culture.

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But does it make my life easier down the road if I want to maintain my culture?

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Of course it does.

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To me, it matters more about the person.

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And their family.

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I would argue their family even more.

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What values did they grow up with?

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What were they taught?

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What was their family life like growing up?

Did they get along with their parents?

Do they have siblings?

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How’s their relationship with them?

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Did they have good role models?

Or were they around bad ones as a baby?

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All of this really matters.

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It shapes an individual.

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It shapes your personality.

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It shapes your subconscious.

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What you see from 0-5 determines who you are.

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Who were you around?

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How were you brought up?

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What did you see?

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What happened to you?

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Literally and metaphorically.

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A fantastic book by Oprah and a childhood development psychiatrist btw.

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Highly recommend it.

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One of the only books I read front to back and didn’t put down once.

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All of that is important to understand in a person.

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Especially one you’re gonna marry.

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One you want to spend the rest of your life with.

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How do they act?

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What are their mannerisms?

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What are they interested in?

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What do they like?

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Do they like similar things?

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And one of the biggest questions for me.

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Can they fit into your life?

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Fit into your environments?

I’m thankfully very social.

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Actually, my parents made me very social.

And they have a lot of friends.

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I’ve been to 30 weddings since 2022 and have 4 more left this year.

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We plan parties.

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And concerts.

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And dinners out.

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Can that person fit into your life?

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I don’t know if enough people ask that question.

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And that’s a huge thing.

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Because if you bring someone into your life who’s not from your culture, everyone will notice.

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And you will notice.

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As much as they’ll want to learn.

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It will change the vibe.

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Change how family friends, and cousins see you.

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I could care less about that.

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But a lot of people can’t.

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They care too much about other people’s judgment.

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To me, the question is this.

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If I go to a party with a bunch of my family friends, am I comfortable with that person next to me?

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Does she add to the night?

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Add to the convo?

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Comfortable on her own talking to people?

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That is extremely important to me.

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I’m very lucky with the life I have.

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And I will not let someone come in to ruin it.

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But this is where the culture question comes in.

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I do have a lot of Indian things going on in my life.

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Indian weddings.

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Having Indian food.

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Practicing certain Indian rituals.

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Would someone who doesn’t understand my culture be interested in that?

Maybe.

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The right one would.

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But an Indian girl knows.

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She’ll know about these off the bat.

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It won’t be a new thing in her life.

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Just someone else who does similar things to her.

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And has been brought up in a similar way.

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Does that mean cross-cultural marriages can’t work?

Absolutely not.

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But it depends on your culture.

Depends on your life.

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Depends on your family situation.

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I’m thankfully very close to my family.

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I spend a lot of time with them.

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I want that person to also spend that time.

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Some people don’t see their parents at all.

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Barely call.

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That is not me.

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And that could be hard for someone to understand.

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I know it’s hard for my friends to understand.

Especially when they first got to know me.

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But this is my life.

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This is how I live.

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This is who I am.

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I will not compromise that for someone.

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Someone Indian.

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Or someone not.

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So do I need an Indian girl?

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No.

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But it might be helpful.

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