I miss him

I miss him:

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I miss him.

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He was supposed to show me the way.

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He was supposed to be my inspiration.

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He was supposed to be there when I needed him.

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He just had a kid.

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1 month later, a cancer diagnosis.

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2 years later, gone.

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He motivated me.

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Got me through so much.

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Whenever I feel down, I always remember him and his struggle.

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Hospital appointments.

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Strong chemotherapy drugs.

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Toxic side effects.

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Yet he fought.

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He battled.

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He thought he could beat it.

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As soon as the diagnosis happened, I was one of the first people he called.

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He asked me about the disease.

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What I knew about it.

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What to do.

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Tests that were upcoming.

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What they were like.

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Walking me through his medications.

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What he was taking and how he was feeling.

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He was so close to getting into a clinical trial that could’ve saved his life.

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So close.

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And then he was gone.

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I miss him.

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His death changed me forever.

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Made it so clear.

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I needed to do what I want.

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I needed to live on my terms.

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I needed to build something.

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He’s my inspiration and reminder.

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We pretend we have time.

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We pretend we’re going to get have kids, get old and watch them get married.

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We pretend we’re going to be here for a long time.

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But we don’t know.

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Anything can happen.

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Life can change so quickly.

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One day you’re partying together at a work event and the next day he’s gone.

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I miss him.

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