The trap of productivity

The trap of productivity:

‍

The trap of productivity.

‍

Feeling like you always need to be doing something.

‍

Always working for something.

‍

Always doing more.

‍

This has plagued me my whole life.

‍

The need to always be on.

‍

It comes from my parents.

‍

Specifically my mom.

‍

She’s a type A go-getter.

‍

Always on the move.

‍

Always planning something.

‍

Doing something.

‍

Keeping busy.

‍

She kept us busy as kids.

‍

Drove us around to all our activities.

‍

Was put in dance, tennis, swimming, soccer, basketball, and tennis as a kid.

‍

And that was just outside of school.

‍

Was also involved in all the extra-curriculars I could.

‍

I was that kid.

The resume kid.

‍

The one who tried to do everything.

‍

I’m very grateful for it now.

‍

But it’s also hindered me.

‍

It’s kept me on.

‍

24/7.

‍

Hard to stop.

‍

I’ve learned ways to stop.

‍

To relax.

‍

To chill.

‍

But it comes with guilt.

‍

Rest comes with this feeling that I should be doing more.

‍

It has taken me to unbelievable heights and got me accomplish much more than I could imagine.

‍

Got me into medical school at 16 in Scotland.

‍

Got me out of medicine.

‍

Got me to live in Amsterdam and Montreal.

‍

Got me to read 350+ books in the last few years.

‍

Got me to write 1100+ blog posts and 2 books since 2021.

‍

Got me to run 2 marathons.

‍

Got me to train for an Ironman.

‍

I have been more productive than most people are in their lives.

‍

And yet there’s this underlying feeling.

‍

This feeling that I’m not doing enough.

Not maximizing my time enough.

‍

Slacking off too much.

‍

Resting too much.

‍

I know these are lies.

‍

I know rest is important for performance.

‍

It’s the key to it.

‍

And yet I can’t seem to relax.

‍

To truly let go.

‍

To stop.

‍

To shut off.

‍

I’m always going.

‍

Always thinking.

‍

Always planning the next thing.

‍

Meditation has helped.

‍

It’s taught me to be more present.

‍

Forced me to stop.

‍

Reading has as well.

‍

Especially guys like Alan Watts.

‍

He had this great quote I saw recently that was a good reminder.

‍

‘Stop measuring days by degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence.’

‍

Remind yourself.

‍

The only moment that exists is now.

‍

Here.

‍

Right in front of you.

‍

Not before.

‍

Not after.

‍

Not worrying about what to do next.

‍

Focused on what’s in front of you.

‍

Enjoying the moment.

‍

No matter what it is.

‍

Today was a productive day.

‍

Finished 2 books.

‍

Worked out.

‍

Went to an appointment

‍

Met a friend for coffee.

‍

Did a lot today.

‍

And yet it doesn’t feel like enough.

‍

Feels like I need to do more.

‍

The last few months on sabbatical have been incredible.

‍

They’ve forced me to reconcile with what I want in my life.

‍

Forced me to reflect.

‍

To think more about my spirituality and my beliefs.

‍

It’s allowed me to read 40 books in a few months.

‍

To write 50+ blog posts.

‍

While spending 10+ hours a week training for an Ironman.

‍

It’s been truly special.

‍

And yet, it doesn’t feel like enough.

‍

This is what the trap of productivity can do to you.

‍

I need to get out of the measure of being productive.

‍

The KPI of always making sure to do something.

‍

Some days it’s healthy.

‍

It pushes me to keep going.

‍

But others, I need to remember.

‍

You don’t have to be productive.

‍

You don’t have to be on.

‍

It’s ok to relax.

‍

It’s ok to rest.

‍

It’s ok to take time for yourself.

‍

Be careful of falling into the trap of productivity.

‍

I’m still figuring out how to handle it.

‍